By Robin Wiley
“You wake up and the grief is still there; thirty minutes later you’re still at the bathroom sink, toothbrush in hand. You can’t remember your coworker’s name…again. Tears come without warning. The knife in your heart twists and turns. Other people just don’t get it; they go about their days as if nothing has changed. How long is it going to be like this? I don’t know if I can make it through, you worry.”
(taken from GriefShare Workbook, “Is This Normal?”)
Our GriefShare ministry has been a blessing to so many, including myself. I have found that grief comes in all shapes and sizes. It is different for every person who is grieving a loved one they have lost. It is because we loved so much that we hurt so much.
Just like Jesus did when he wept and grieved for his dear friend, Lazarus. And I would strongly guess - just like God wept and grieved for His son Jesus when He died on the cross. If we are believers, then we have the resurrection hope of Christ we will see our loved one again. Very soon, but not yet.
1 Peter 1:3: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead." 1 Corinthians 15:21: "For since death came through a man, the resurrection of the dead comes also through a man."
I can honestly attest that every person who has attended our GriefShare support group in the past fours has left the group a different person than they began. One story in particular was a young lady who lost her husband from a drowning accident on South Padre Island one summer. He drowned saving her life. She could not even raise her eyes up from the table and was very quiet and solemn. But by the time the sessions had ended 13 weeks later, she had formed new friendships and was smiling and laughing again. You see, our groups become family to each other and they end up meeting outside our weekly sessions for other social gatherings. She is not completely healed nor is she is over her grieving but she can experience life with a little more joy because she knows by the grace of God and the blood of our sweet Jesus, that she will see her loved one again.
Our lives are forever changed when we lose someone dear to us. It leaves a big gaping hole in our hearts that can only be healed by God’s sovereign grace. One of my seminary professors – Dr. Lyles said of suffering and death – “God does not cause our suffering. God is with us through our suffering. “ Those two simple statements are powerful when we accept it as truth. God walks along side us, sometimes carrying us through our darkest moments.
When we are walking closely with God in a time of grief, mediate on His word. God has so many words of comfort and encouragement for us. Even when we do not feel like it – write out scripture by hand.
Yes, the art of writing in long hand can help your heart and mind to heal. You can use colored pens, crayons, or sidewalk chalk, but just begin to spend time each day copying the scripture. Then ask God what He wants to say to you through that verse.
You may not have an “aha” moment, but committing to spend time each day listening to God’s voice through His word puts focus on His truths so that you can see how He is working in your situation. This may help you to develop and accept your new normal.
Here are some suggested Scriptures to write out and get you started:
Day 1 – 1 Corinthians 15:51-57
Day 2 – 2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Day 3 – Isaiah 40:27-31
Day 4 – John 14:25-27
Day 5 – John 16:19-24
PRAYER: Father God – I cry out to you to heal my broken heart from this loss. Teach me to see you in your Word every day. Let your comfort and peace flow like a mighty river and still my soul. Fill my life with friends and family who can help me with this journey. Thank you for never leaving me. In my beautiful Savior’s name – Amen.
FBC Weslaco – puts on a GriefShare support group twice a year – usually at the end of February and August of each year on Monday evenings, 6-8PM in our Family Life Center lobby.