“With his mouth the godless man would destroy his neighbor, but by knowledge the righteous are delivered.” Proverbs 11:9
The God Who Cares for Us, Reputation and All
By: Dr. Steven K Parker
Several years ago I was alerted to a post on social media that spoke disparagingly about a small business owner who happened to be a friend. By the time I found this post (I’m not the most adept Facebook detective), it had been shared thousands of times. I reached out to my friend to offer prayer and comfort and discovered that he was fine. He is older and not on social media and didn’t seem to understand or care about the thought that negative buzz about him and his business was “breaking the Internet”, at least on a local level. I knew him well enough to know that there was more to the story than what was being reported by a disgruntled customer who cast my friend in the worst possible light and presented his skewed accusations in a way that completely disregarded the nuance of normal human interaction that would offer layers of depth to the story. I took the time to scroll through every shared version of this account and discovered that two of the people who shared this narrative were people I knew, on some level, personally. I private messaged both of them and told them that the person who was described so unfavorably in the post was a friend, who I knew well and had experienced to be a reasonable, kind, generous person, despite what this much-shared post had indicated. One of the people I messaged responded positively and deleted the post after some hemming and hawing; the other did not. I doubt that my intervention had much positive effect on the “buzz” dying out, but it did go away, and my friend’s business didn’t close over the ordeal.
I’ve thought about that experience a lot the last few days as I’ve seen other stories on social media “blow up” without much regard for nuance, the whole story, or whether or not certain events even happened at all. It seems that the rise of 24-hour news stations produced a shift in storytelling to a model that pays more of a premium for being first than for being right. That model certainly seems to be winning the day on social media. As a society, we are quick to hit the “share button” on posts, often without questioning them, looking for the nuance that lies beneath the surface of most interactions, considering Paul Harvey’s quest for “the rest of the story,” or pondering whether or not the story is even true in the first place. The ripple effects of these episodes produce legions of damaged reputations and hurt feelings. The truth becomes perhaps the greatest casualty produced by online warriors who broker in falsehoods and half-truths and those who are complicit in their efforts by commenting and sharing without the due diligence of truth-seeking or thinking twice about the implications of who will be hurt by the spread of misinformation.
Author Richard Foster advocates for a renewed practice of the spiritual discipline of silence. I know I would often benefit greatly from being more intentional about speaking, commenting, arguing, and “sharing” less. Foster says:
One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let God be our justifier. We don’t need to straighten others out. There is a story of a medieval monk who was being unjustly accused of certain offenses. One day he looked out his window and saw a dog biting and tearing on a rug that had been hung out to dry. As he watched, the Lord spoke to him saying, ‘That is what is happening to your reputation. But if you will trust me, I will care for you—reputation and all.’ Perhaps more than anything else, silence brings us to believe that God can care for us—‘reputation and all.’ (Celebration of Discipline 101).
That’s an easier principle to affirm when we talk about it in concept than when it comes up in the context of being maligned ourselves or seeing a friend or family member being the victim of a story and the ensuing comments that cared more about being first or provocative than being correct. In the midst of vitriol directed against us or someone we care about can we trust God to care for us “reputation and all”?
I suspect that my friend who was the victim of this type of “bullying” at the hands of keyboard warriors was probably right to not worry too much about it, pray for those who were making themselves his enemies, and leave the success or failure of his business, that was beyond his control, in God’s hands. The faithful spirit he showed throughout this ordeal is the kind of thing that led me to try and come to his defense in my feeble way. But, in truth, God had his back, and he overcame.
Whatever it is about human nature that leads people who shout, “Hosanna on Sunday” to shout, “Crucify,” less than a week later, is alive and well on social media. The good news is that none of that has ever thwarted God’s care and concern for us or Jesus’ resurrection power. That being said, the days between Friday and Sunday can get pretty dark. May God grant us the courage and strength to shine light into that darkness with the grace and truth of Jesus Christ and the discipline to practice trusting silence when it’s the best option we have.
“Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.” Proverbs 12:19