15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17
25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:25 and 29
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4
Our 6 AM Men’s Bible Challenge this morning was about gossip. At first, most of us thought that men don’t really gossip, so this wasn’t for us. But then we realized there is always the potential for gossiping about others: especially when dealing with Christ Ramirez…Just Kidding Chris…when dealing with difficult situations. What is the difference between gossip and just talking about someone? If talking about someone is not going to improve their situation or your relationship with them, it is probably gossip.
It is much easier to talk about someone than to them when we have a problem with something. All relationships take work. Unfortunately, most people avoid doing the work and simply allow tension to slowly build over time, hoping it just goes away. Eventually, that tension will explode back into the relationship when least expected. This can truly harm our relationships at work, at home, and at church.
The easiest way to not gossip is to stay humble and pray for the person you want to talk about. Ask God to help you and the person resolve the issue. Pray for wisdom to know when and how you can talk to them. Jesus’ insight into going to your brother in private is sound. I’ve been in many situations that could have been resolved if this first step had been taken. Unfortunately, many do not have the courage to follow Jesus’ command or the wisdom to know how to do it with humility, counting others more significant than themselves.
Dear God,
Give me wisdom to know how I can confront those who have sinned against me. Give me the humility I need to consider others better than myself. Help me to speak truth with my neighbors and build up those you have placed around me. Change my heart so I may deal with all people the Jesus way.
Amen
In Christ,
Pastor Ray
P.S.
Here is a good video on drama triangles, the roles we assume in them, and how to avoid them.